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Adam Gallari on Adam Gallari.

May 19, 2010 \am\31 10:37 am

Adam Gallari, author of We Are Never As Beautiful As We Are Now, on Adam Gallari’s We Are Never As Beautiful As We Are Now.

A while back the wonderful and charming Ms. Broder approached me to perhaps write a self-review of my book or to examine the book in some way, or, as she put it “Be Meta.” I thought ‘sounds like fun,’ and then promptly forgot about it for two months. In the meantime the book came out, and I began wondering what possible thoughts might be running through the heads of the people coming across such a thing previously unknown to them. Hence:

A List of Possible “WTF Moments” to Be Had by a Potential Reader Handling this Book in an Independent Bookstore as Imagined by the Author while He Sits in a Library in Southern England.

  1. Why does the title of this book sound like a bad Buddhist koan or some first year Philosophy student’s hybrid between the Dude and Hedonism?
  2. What’s up with the fountain?
  3. Is this guy’s name pronounced like Gallery? There’re too many vowels. Where the hell does the accent fall?
  4. Hmm, nice epigram. I read Out Stealing Horses. That was a good book, perhaps this will be too. Then again how often can you trust an epigram? After War and Peace never again. Never.
  5. Why are all the story names under four words and the title a long existential pondering? What happened to ‘blank and other stories?’ Somewhere Cheever is crying.
  6. What’s with the author photo? Seriously, what the hell is going on that is so damn important that he can’t look at the camera? Is he that important, really? I’m curious. Unless there’s a fire or someone getting mugged or perhaps the second coming of Christ, look at the fucking camera, man!
  7. And smile. Yeah, we aren’t done with number 6, now are we? No we’re not. You tool, Ga-lar-ree or Guh-lur-rea or whatever your name is.
  8. Another fountain? On the back cover? What does being beautiful have to do with fountains? Is he obsessed with fountains? Does he like watching water spurt up into the air from holes in the ground? Does he have a geyser fetish or is it some kind of ‘phallic metaphor?’ Is there something he’s not telling us?
  9. The font is nice.
  10. I’m going to buy Eat, Pray, Love. Do they have Eat, Pray, Love here?
One Comment
  1. May 19, 2010 \pm\31 1:56 pm 1:56 pm

    11. Judging by the author photo, maybe this is Daniel Day Lewis’ pen name?

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