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Subway dining guide.

June 1, 2010 \am\30 10:38 am

Fair game.

The following is a list of appropriate vs. inappropriate foods for consumption on the New York City subway:

Bagel – yes.

Bagel with butter – go for it.

Bagel with cream cheese and lox – don’t.

Banana – yes.

Large melon – no.

French fries – okay.

Baked potato with fixins’ – no.

Mashed potatoes- definitely no.

Fried chicken platter – nay.

Any kind of “platter” – steer clear.

Milkshake – holla!

Ice cream in a cone – questionable.

Croissant – bon appetit.

Fondue – no.

Sushi – nne.

Anything hibachi style – double nne.

Lobster tail – prohibited.

Turkey sandwich – yes.

Hot open faced turkey sandwich – no can do.

Pizza slice – benissimo.

Large pizza pie with peppers and onions – scusa.

Carrot sticks – yes.

Creamed spinach – no

Rice cakes – yes.

Clambake – no.

Pan roasted pork loin with blue cheese and olive stuffing – no.

Latte – yes.

Doughnut – yes.

Souffle flambe – no.

Floating island – stop.

Sprite – yes.

Breast milk from the tap – no.

Bahama mama tiki-style – no.

Peanut butter and jelly – yes.

Gummy worms – you have my blessing.

Calf brain – no.

Blood pudding – no.

Burrito – si.

Moving pinata – lo siento.

Hot dog – okay.

House cat – no.

Whole roast piggie Polynesian style – no.

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14 Comments
  1. June 1, 2010 \am\30 10:45 am 10:45 am

    I once got in a lot of trouble for eating a rice cake on the subway. Just sayin.

  2. June 1, 2010 \am\30 10:48 am 10:48 am

    I’ve never dined in a subway before. no house cats?

  3. June 1, 2010 \pm\30 12:24 pm 12:24 pm

    ANYTHING that smells of fish or sea urchins is a definite NO in my book.

  4. June 1, 2010 \pm\30 12:55 pm 12:55 pm

    That is a great list!

    http://thebitchywaiter.blogspot.com/

  5. Gigi permalink
    June 1, 2010 \pm\30 1:57 pm 1:57 pm

    I’m glad you made this list….
    But, have you ever smelled french fries outside of a restaurant? They smell repulsive like fried oil. Also burritos – I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to smell onions and/or salsa or any kind of mexican food in a small enclosed subway car.
    ….just sayin.

  6. June 1, 2010 \pm\30 2:02 pm 2:02 pm

    In the interest of complete disclosure, I’ve rocked a full-on Four Seasons-style buffet spread on the A train. I just pretend I’m invisible.

  7. Jeff Karp permalink
    June 1, 2010 \pm\30 2:25 pm 2:25 pm

    I disagree with many of these. Ever watch a homeless man eat a banana? The lip smacking sound and that sugary sweet tropical suntan lotion smell is vile

  8. June 1, 2010 \pm\30 3:34 pm 3:34 pm

    I have to agree with Jeff. While I enjoy bananas, I find it completely repulsive to watch someone eat one on a train.

  9. Homina Ray permalink
    June 1, 2010 \pm\30 5:24 pm 5:24 pm

    This list is beyond moronic. NOTHING is acceptable to EAT on the subway. Since this doesn’t strike everyone as common sense and civility, then I’ll just make some further clarifications for you since you obviously need to be told this.

    Don’t eat in an elevator, don’t eat while speaking with someone, don’t eat while taking your driving test, don’t eat while cleaning your chimney, don’t eat while getting your hair cut, don’t eat while gardening, don’t eat while washing your dog, don’t eat in the toilet stall, don’t eat while you’re playing trombone, don’t eat while scultping a statue of Napolean out of horseshit.

    Clueless.

    Are you going to die in the next 45 minutes?

    Then wait to eat somewhere else.

  10. June 1, 2010 \pm\30 10:44 pm 10:44 pm

    My favorite thing to eat on the subway is five dollar footlong.

    Tuna, usually.

  11. paul a. hoff permalink
    June 1, 2010 \pm\30 11:02 pm 11:02 pm

    Nothing that once lived.

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