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J. Bradley on J. Bradley.

July 5, 2010 \am\31 10:00 am

J. Bradley, Author of Dodging Traffic Reviews Dodging Traffic by J. Bradley

Note: Perhaps you failed to read the subtitle of this review (the one under the blog header) and thought you would soon read gay clone erotica, where I, J. Bradley, and my doppelganger, J. Bradley, have an existential struggle with our respective sexualities before becoming an ouroburos. Congratulations in advance on your inability to pay attention.

The first mistake J. Bradley makes with Dodging Traffic is believing audiences want happiness in their poetry. When he writes “Everyone wants Hope/but no one uses protection,” there’s a sad irony in that statement, which leads us to his second mistake: dedicating the collection to his soon-to-be ex-wife.

In its original context, Dodging Traffic was a love story, where our hero questioned everything, made awful mistakes on his way to finding true love, and then wrestled the thrashing anaconda of her legs–his pretty princess who needed poisoning–toward the wedding aisle. In the reprint, all of the poems about her will be replaced with interpretive dance steps that artfully reenact tentacle rape.

The third mistake was thus: the poet forgot that there is no marketability in fisting. Regardless of how eloquent and sweet he makes it out to be, J. Bradley is more of a black market gynecologist than a dentist.

Overall, Dodging Traffic is a time capsule. One hundred years from now, people will uncover it and wonder about everything that was wrong in the year of our lord 2009.

(****1/2)

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2 Comments
  1. July 6, 2010 \am\31 11:28 am 11:28 am

    I said “wow” a lot reading this book.

    I mean that to be a huge compliment.

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