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The astrology of rejection letters: Virgo.

July 31, 2010 \pm\31 4:00 pm

Salutations Landon,

We were dismayed, and frankly disturbed, that you did not follow our submissions guidelines. We specifically requested that all submissions be presented on crisp, 11.5 x 8.5 eggshell—not white—paper stock, with a 1.2 inch margin. Further, we requested that you utilize Glouster MT Extra Condensed font, single-spaced on odd pages and double-spaced on even pages, with a receipt from a local, organic bookstore and a copy of your birth certificate affixed to the final page by a single wax seal.

You have failed to do any of this; thus we cannot consider your submission.

Yours sincerely,

The Editors

  1. Keith S. Wilson permalink
    August 1, 2010 \pm\31 11:20 pm 11:20 pm

    This is what happens when we let P.Diddy be the guest editor.

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