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A jello soundtrack.

September 8, 2010 \pm\30 12:42 pm

In your 20s, you traded in a small slice of curiosity for sanity. Matthew Simmons’ A Jello Horse drops you off at the roadside trading post where you left it.

Sometimes you still feel like a jello horse, “hitched up to the world…shaky and unsteady. Not so safe.” Maybe this shakiness is about your inability to control time. It sure is scary when the world goes naked. But lucky for you, Simmons’ subdued tone and cool second-person voice balances that hyperreality.

You can’t put down this tale of splintering.

Your Grandmom Eve had a beautiful recipe for Rosh Hashanah jello mold (that doubled as a Thanksgiving  jello mold) and it went something like this:

Grandmom Eve’s Rosh Hashanah Jello Mold (with poetic license)

1 (20 ounce) can of crushed pineapple
2 packages (4 serving size) or 1 package (8 servings) cherry gelatin
1 (16 ounce) can whole berry cranberry sauce

Drain pineapple, but save that liquid! Boil 3 cups of water plus the pineapple liquid…then remove from heat. Add gelatin; stir for two minutes until completely dissolved. Add cranberry sauce and stir until all become one. Om shanti. Pour into large bowl. Refrigerate 1 ½ hours or until slightly thickened. Stir in the remaining pineapple. Pour into a cute serving bowl. Refrigerate for four hours or until firm.

When you are finished atoning, you can buy Simmons’ new book.

If you could score A Jello Horse, you would set it to Pavement’s Range Life, Mazzy Star’s Flowers in December and Pink Floyd’s Pigs on the Wing. Simmons might call these wussy bands, but it’s your adaptation.



  1. September 8, 2010 \pm\30 1:23 pm 1:23 pm

    This book has almost the best title I can imagine.

  2. September 8, 2010 \pm\30 7:03 pm 7:03 pm

    I like all three of those songs.

    I also like this.

    But I like those songs, too.

    Thanks, Melissa.

    • September 9, 2010 \am\30 12:02 am 12:02 am

      I was going to go with Goat Whore for the Jackalope section, but Hope Sandoval won out.

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