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Getting to know: Steve Fellner.

September 17, 2010 \am\30 10:00 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Steve Fellner looks into our soul.

Full Name: Stephen Michael Fellner
Age: 33
Height: 6 feet
Currently Live: Brockport, NY
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Instruments:14420
Car: Don’t drive.
Secret Talent: I have no cartilage in my nose and can push it all the way back and oink like a pig.

What is the best thing about your job? Refusing a student a letter of rec and then watching their future crumble right before my eyes.
What was your most embarrassing audition moment? I wanted to play the role of Lenny in Of Mice and Men.  They said I need to drool more.  I couldn’t muster up the sailva.  Rejected.
If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? I’m too edgy to live anywhere but in the now.
Who is your role model and why? Jessica Tandy.  I bet she was great lay.
What do you do for fun? Watch TV and cook on my George Foreman Grill.
Do you have a good luck charm? Don’t believe in luck.
Wackiest fan encounter: No one knows who I am.
Before I die, I want to: Raise Jessica Tandy from the dead and fuck her.
When I fly I have to have: Red wine.
If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: Deluxe cheese fries.
My coolest article of clothing: My blue knit cap.
My first financial splurge was: Buying a Ronald McDonald Pokey Bear for $75 off eBay.
When friends come over, we: I’m too ashamed of how we live to have people come over.  We don’t even have lampshades on our lamps.  Student loans are a killer.
Do you like to cook? If so, what? Salmon.
TV show I never miss: Breaking Bad.
If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? Jessica Tandy.  She has the most beautiful blue eyes.
Anything about yourself you wish you could change? Fuck you.
I’ll eat sushi, but not: Meatloaf.
What are your best and worst subjects in school? I was salutatorian.  Best at everything. No joke.  The certificate is in a frame on my wall.
If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be… To look like Pierce Brosnan, become invisible at my whim within a moment, and not have ear hair.
If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be… I have a partner of 14 years.  His name is Phil.  He’s my favorite person in the world.  Next to Jessica Tandy.
Where on earth are you most dying to go? Universal Studios.
What’s the last thing that made you cry? This questionnaire.
Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? I am normal.
What would people be surprised to know about you? I smell funny.
If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? The theme from the Exorcist.
Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? No.

FAVORITES
Favorite Actor/Actress: Julie Hagerty.
Favorite Movie: Before Sunset.
Favorite Body Part: Pecs.
Favorite Singer: Rufus Wainwright.
Favorite Song: Don’t Worry, Be Happy.
Favorite Candy: Butterfingers.
Favorite Philosopher: Frank Bidart.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Any sorbet.
Favorite Sport: Gymnastics.
Favorite Sports Team: The Cubs.
Favorite Athlete: Tiger Woods.
Favorite Book: Crime and Punishment.
Cell Phone or iPod: Cell Phone.
Summer or Winter: Winter.
Ice Skating or Gymnastics: Gymnastics.
LA or New York: New York.
Skiing or Snowboarding: Snowboarding.
Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers.
Dogs or Cats: Cats.

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