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Getting to know: Jeffery Morgan.

October 15, 2010 \am\31 10:00 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Jeffrey Morgan
Age: 34
Height: 5’7’’
Currently Live: Brooklyn, NY
Hometown: Fairbanks, AK
Instruments: Cello
Car: 95 Mercury Sable
Secret Talent: Poop Whisperer (It’s gross, but I always know the instant my daughter needs a diaper change. My wife is kind of in disgusted awe of me).

What is the best thing about your job? I teach ESL in the City University of New York Language Immersion Program. I work with ESL students who are interested in improving their language proficiency. Basically, I get to play with language and help people at the same time.
What was your most embarrassing audition moment? I once banged my head on a low overhang as I turned away from the lectern after giving a reading. I call that poem “Humility.” I don’t know if that counts as an audition moment.
If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? I’d like to give the 90s another shot. I think I could do better and make some cash.
Who is your role model and why? My parents are loving, responsible adults. I try to be like them in case they’re reading this.
What do you do for fun? Eat, drink, read poetry, watch movies.
Do you have a good luck charm? I have a lucky rabbit’s brain. I keep it in a jar on my desk next to the mints. Just kidding; I don’t have a desk.
Wackiest fan encounter: I don’t really have fans. One woman tried to buy a poem off me one time. I’m not entirely sure what that was about.
Before I die, I want to: Travel a lot.
When I fly I have to have: A game plan for my daughter, the party pooper.
If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: I have a soft spot on my brain for McNuggets. How many can you get for $10 these days? (As if I don’t know).
My coolest article of clothing: I’ve got a blue leather jacket.
My first financial splurge was: I had the original black Air Jordans.
When friends come over, we: Eat good food and drink nice wine.
Do you like to cook? If so, what? I do like to cook. I like to bake bread. I make a nice lasagna. I’m obsessed with mushrooms.
TV show I never miss:
I don’t have cable, but I have a Roku, so I stream Netflix. I like that that last sentence will be incomprehensible in less than ten years. Right now I’m watching a lot of Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations.
If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? I’d like interview Jim Jarmusch because he makes very cool movies. I’d also like to accuse him of stealing Andy Warhol’s wig.
Anything about yourself you wish you could change? I’ve got a bad case of wanderlust.
I’ll eat sushi, but not: Dolphin. Well, maybe just one more.
What are your best and worst subjects in school? I was good with words. I was not so good with numbers.
If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be… Money, time, and the ability to live without excessive desire (which would admittedly be easier with all that money and time).
If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be… Do you mean preside over a gay ceremony involving potentially unwilling participants? That’s pretty sweet. I’m going to go with Glen Beck and Marmaduke.
Where on earth are you most dying to go? I’m pretty homesick for Alaska.
What’s the last thing that made you cry? I’ve got a healthy one-year old, a father undergoing treatment for cancer, and a brother with epilepsy. The air conditioner makes me cry.
Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? Only in the liquor store (I’ve got expensive taste and serious wallet limitations).
What would people be surprised to know about you? I played soccer in college. I was jockalicious.
If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads
Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? I met The Amazing Kreskin at a casino in Atlantic City. He invited me to dinner. He couldn’t remember my name.

FAVORITES
Favorite Actor/Actress: John Turturro.
Favorite Movie: It changes all the time. Right now maybe it’s “The Spirit of the Beehive.”
Favorite Body Part: Thigh.
Favorite Singer: Maybe James Brown (with the JBs).
Favorite Song: ATM, “The Best Of Jill Hives” by Guided By Voices.
Favorite Candy: Sour Patch Kids.
Favorite Philosopher: Neibuhr.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Coffee.
Favorite Sport: Soccer.
Favorite Sports Team: Knicks.
Favorite Athlete: Allen Iverson.
Favorite Book: That’s a tough call. My wife, Carla, turned me onto Allison Cobb’s Green-Wood. You should get yourself some.
Cell Phone or iPod: iPhone (but the music bit is way more important to me than the phone bit).
Summer or Winter: Winter.
Ice Skating or Gymnastics: Sports with a panel of judges are a mockery. They’re both great.
LA or New York: NYC.
Skiing or Snowboarding: Snowboarding. I used to do some cross-country skiing.
Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate.
Dogs or Cats: Cats. I’m not into being pack leader.

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