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Holy Halloween, Batman: 10 worst Halloween costumes, ever.

October 24, 2010 \pm\31 12:00 pm

1. The Hokey Pokey

Pokey did always kind of get the shit end of the deal in Gumby’s world. But the humiliation of wearing this walking fire hazard is too far– not to mention that to see a grown man in this would be enough to fuel nightmares until next Halloween.

2. Bump and Grind

Who needs stocking stuffers when you have a Belly Stuffer? Move over Santa Claus, K-Fed is in the house.

3. Jersey Shore-To-Make-You-Look-Stupid

This is going too far in the other direction. Cmon, guys. All you’re gonna get from chicks when you show up to the party with this is pity. After all, if this is a good alternative to your body, we’ll still believe you have a six pack on your person– of the alcoholic variety.

4. “Jack-o” Lantern

Put on this costume and you may become the King of Pop resurrected, a la Thriller.

5. Surf’s Up, Dude

For the most authentic fake-blonde, the bleach-bucket-who-hated-me look. Dumb expression not included.

6. Non-sensei-cal

Put this on and the curious looks you’ll receive will NOT be from those yearning for the knowledge of ancient mystics. You will, however, find yourself with a mean case of beard-itch.

7. Mexi-Can’t Wear This In Public

A costume so offensive, it’d cause anyone to flee the country in disgust.

8. Holy Creep

Though books like The Monk make friar’s costumes freaky enough, the look on this guy’s face doesn’t help matters. Look closely, and speculate…

9. “Zoo” Can Keep This One

The monkey/beret lends a nice touch, don’t you think?

10. Banana Split

Even with a banana that size, there’s no way to make this costume look good.

BONUS: Best Kid Costume!

11. Bunny Baby or Zombie Baby?

Cute enough at first glance, but look closer. This fluffy bunny is only a clever disguise for a truer Halloween horror: she’s a zombie! Makes for an especially good picture to show your child’s dates in fifteen years.

  1. October 24, 2010 \pm\31 5:27 pm 5:27 pm

    I’m floored by “Mexican Man.”

    Also, I like to think that he is in fact a super-hero named Mexican Man: a white man imbued by the Mexican Gods with the power and strength of the Mexican People to fight crime and keep the world safe from treachery.

    • October 24, 2010 \pm\31 6:48 pm 6:48 pm

      I love your first sentence. It sounds like Rex Reed.

      • October 24, 2010 \pm\31 6:51 pm 6:51 pm

        “Mexican Man delivers thrills…the best costume of the season!”

        “An edge your seat racist thrill ride!”

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