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Getting to know: Blaise Kearsley.

March 11, 2011 \am\31 10:22 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Blaise Allysen Kearsley

Age: Somehow I became 38. I have the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old so it’s especially weird.

Height: People say short. I prefer little.

Currently Live: Brooklyn, NY.

Hometown: Boston. Newton, really–a suburb just outside of Boston. I don’t have an accent. And I’m not a Red Sox fan. What I’m saying is don’t hold my origins against me.

Instruments: I’m not 100% sure but I might still be able to play “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder. I would like someone to give me a guitar and then teach me how to play it. And then I would like to learn how to really sing. Is it true that everyone has a voice and that anyone can sing if taught properly? I’ve heard that.

Car: I don’t have my license but if I did I would like to have an old Volvo or an old Subaru station wagon or a BMW 2002. Maybe in orange or light blue.

Secret Talent: I can tape Larry Lester’s buns together.

What is the best thing about your job? Well, I have a few different jobs. I guess the best thing about it is the flexibility of not being on a set 9-5, 5-day-a-week schedule. But sometimes that’s also the worst thing about it. Dude, I can’t win.

What was your most embarrassing audition moment? Not an audition but: When I was in a ballet class for toddlers my mom, in cahoots with my teacher, made me perform a solo for the whole class. It was to the song “With You I’m Born Again” by Billy Preston and Syreeta. I was so embarrassed did the whole routine facing the wall.

If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? Probably New York in the late 70s and early 80s. It’s the New York I dreamed of moving to when I was a kid.

Who is your role model and why? When I was 15 I would have said Bob Geldof. (I know.) Now when things get rough I often ask myself, what would Buddha do? If that doesn’t help then I ask, what would Buffy do? And then I go to Oprah.com.

What do you do for fun? I like to make jokes. I like to watch Netflix. I like to send people text messages. The last one I sent read, “Called back and got yr vm. Go to work. Tell Guy Pearce to call me. When r u coming over for dinner?” That’s fun.

Do you have a good luck charm? Not really. Do you think I should?

Wackiest fan encounter: I flirted with Q-Tip outside a bodega in the East Village one evening. We talked for a long time. We were basically dating. And then when we said goodbye, he walked away and kept looking back at me. It was a long goodbye. That was a nice relationship. And don’t even get me started on the time I ran into Ian Astbury on the street. It was amazing. (He’s one of my biggest fans.)

Before I die, I want to: Be comfortable, have some chocolate and fall asleep smiling.  What are the chances?

When I fly I have to have: A mantra and a pill.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: I don’t eat fast food anymore so I’m not too familiar with the specific options, but if I had to I might go to McDonald’s and get a quarter pounder with cheese, a large order of fries, a chocolate milkshake, and a hot apple pie. And I’d supersize it. All of it. Do they still do supersize?

My coolest article of clothing: Ugh. I don’t think I’m known for my “cool” fashion sense. I wear the same things all the time. I think right now my favorite article of clothing is a vintage dress I found at a flea market for $20. It reminds me of Audrey Hepburn. But it’s not for winter time.

My first financial splurge was: Steel-toe boots in 9th grade, I think.

When friends come over, we: That’s personal. We talk about Oprah.

Do you like to cook? If so, what? Yes! I like to cook! For the first time in my life I am saying this and meaning it! There’s a lot of backstory but in 2009, for health reasons, I was forced to learn how to cook–like, for serious. Only unprocessed and well-balanced meals and I had certain restrictions and I had to cook a lot of things in very particular ways. No more pasta and mac and cheese. No more, you know, crap. Now I have to cook all the time so I get kind of tired of it. I’m much better at being lazy. But I love that I’m actually sort of good at cooking. I never thought that would happen. Sorry, Lean Cuisine.

TV show I never miss: Oh my god, it was Mad Men, but I just got rid of cable. I have no TV for the first time in my entire life except when I was away at college. I grew up in front of the TV and I’ve realized how much of a comfort, safety net sort of thing it is. I think it gives you this semblance of connection so it’s strange not having it even though I’ve been watching it less and less over the years. Now it’s not even a background option. I didn’t even know the Golden Globes were on last week. That’s totally weird!  First the cooking, now the television. I’m having an identity crisis. I don’t know who I am anymore.

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? Do I have to interview them? Could I just hang out with them and maybe ask them some questions? Could I just chat with them and maybe here and there say, “Can I ask you a question?”

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? I would like to have a fatter face. I am not kidding.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Fermented shark. I just learned about this. Pretty gross.

What are your best and worst subjects in school? I was not a great student. I was perpetually “not applying myself.” I’d push it just to see how far I could go and still get away with it. I almost failed out a couple of times. I never repeated a grade but I was in college for half a year longer than I thought I would be. Wait. That doesn’t answer your question. Best Subjects: Art, English and History. Worst Subjects: Everything else.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be…More money, an end to all stress and suffering, more time and the wherewithal to spend it wisely. That might be 3 1/2.

If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be…I’m not really into blondes but I would have to say Michelle Williams. I would definitely gay-marry her. All night. All the time.

Where on earth are you most dying to go? So many places it’s overwhelming. So I just stay here.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? Talking about the death of a friend of a loved one. Before that, watching Oprah.

Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? Normalcy is for pussies.

What would people be surprised to know about you? I am really shy. At least that’s what we called it in my youth. I think when you’re an adult it’s called social anxiety disorder.

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? I Sing The Body Electric from “Fame.” Naturally.

Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? Last summer I was on a water taxi to Ikea with Joyce from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  My boyfriend thought I was going to pass out.

Favorite Actor/Actress: When I was 16 I would’ve said Susan Sarandon and Willem Dafoe. When I was 12 I seriously would have said Dennis Quaid. You know you’re old when you’re in your doctor’s office waiting room and there is (a) an AARP magazine and (b) Dennis Quaid is on the cover. That’s a true story that just happened to me.

Favorite Movie: Over The Edge

Favorite Body Part: You mean on me? Or on someone else? Or just people in general? I don’t understand the question.

Favorite Singer: Well, it’s the dead of winter and I seem to listen to Bon Iver a lot this time of year.

Favorite Song: Lipstick Vogue by Elvis Costello

Favorite Candy: CANDY!!!

Favorite Philospher: The Buddha. And John Locke. Not the English dude, but the guy on Lost.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Yes.

Favorite Sport: I like watching tennis because it’s my dad’s favorite sport.

Favorite Athlete: Boris Becker, Stefan Edberg… all the cute tennis stars of yore. Bjorn Borg for the shorts and the headband and the mystery. Also, I had a crush on the diver Greg Louganis when I was little. Then he came out of the closet. Foreshadowing.

Favorite Book: In high school it was Native Son by Richard Wright. Still one of my favorites. I have too many to name.

Cell Phone or iPod: I use a rotary phone with a long, twisty cord and a portable radio with dual cassette player.

Summer or Winter: Summer.

Ice Skating or Gymnastics: I did both as a child, but I was a competitive figure skater for a brief period. I quit when I was 16. I needed to free up my afterschool sched for making out with boys.

LA or New York: I don’t think I could be happy anywhere where I have to depend on a car just to go to the convenient store… Even if I did have my license.

Skiing or Snowboarding: Summer.

Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers. I don’t really eat chocolate anymore. I miss you, chocolate.

Dogs or Cats: Both. I like animals. Especially when they’re not a-holes.

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