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Getting to know: Maureen Thorson.

April 15, 2011 \am\30 10:07 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Maureen Elizabeth Thorson

Age: 32

Height: 5’6”

Currently Live: Washington, DC

Hometown: Newport, RI

Instruments: Laser-like focus, maracas.

Car: I leave driving to people who can … drive.

Secret Talent: Making balloon animals. A friend who knew I was afraid of the sound of balloons popping gave me a balloon-animal kit as a joke, and I OVERCAME MY FEAR. And now I can twist you up a nice giraffe!

What is the best thing about your job? Winning. Seriously. I’m a lawyer, and we like that part a lot.

What was your most embarrassing audition moment? I feel vaguely apologetic about my existence on a permanent basis, so this is an ongoing moment, I think.

If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? I am very much enjoying this era with its antibiotics and safety regulations.

Who is your role model and why? My husband, because he actually has perspective on things and thus, unlike me, will not die of a heart attack any time soon.

What do you do for fun? I cook things, I walk around, I make things out of glue and paper.

Do you have a good luck charm? I used to have a disgusting purple rabbit’s foot. Now I have a ring shaped like a crown with a big black stone in the middle.

Wackiest fan encounter: I have been called a rock star a couple of times. I would very much like to be one, but it is somewhat alarming to think I may have already arrived.

Before I die, I want to: Have a good night’s sleep.

When I fly I have to have: A nice beer at the Chili’s or what-have-you, before boarding.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: As many Chik-fil-a sandwiches as $10 will buy. It’s those pickles. They are made of love and perhaps the souls of innocents.

My coolest article of clothing: I have a really awesome blouse decorated with gold embroidery that my sister brought me from Oaxaca.

My first financial splurge was: A My Little Pony I could scarcely afford. I was eight.

When friends come over, we: Eat my latest ridiculous concoctions, and play games.

Do you like to cook? If so, what? I like to cook everything! Except I don’t like to cook the same thing twice. I am a recipe novelty-seeker.

TV show I never miss: 30 Rock.

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? I would like to just go shopping with Tina Fey.

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? I wish I had better posture. I stand like a lazy question mark.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Fried eels. They look like twigs. Weird.

What are your best and worst subjects in school? Best: English. Worst: Banking Regulation.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be…To know a foolproof way to keep squirrels off tomato plants, to have enough money not to worry about money ever again, and to be more patient.

If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be… Salma Hayek. No contest. Why isn’t this everybody’s answer?

Where on earth are you most dying to go? I would like to take a trip to see all the competing “Largest Balls of Twine” in the United States.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? Reading a scene in a book in which a loyal dragon dies. I’m a soft touch.

Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? Every day for the last 32 years.

What would people be surprised to know about you? I had a partial third set of teeth. Extra tooth-fairy money, baby!

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? Clarence Reid’s Miami funk tour-de-force, “Masterpiece.”

Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? I had a sort-of crush on David Duchovny when the X-Files first came out, but even I was mildly embarrassed by it. And that was before he got all weird.

Favorite Actor/Actress: I like Brendan Fraser. I just do.

Favorite Movie: Spirited Away

Favorite Body Part: Noses. Noses are a-okay.

Favorite Singer: Huh. You got me stumped there.

Favorite Song: I have always been inordinately fond of “No Myth” by Michael Penn.

Favorite Candy: Mr. Goodbar.

Favorite Philosopher: Anselm of Canterbury

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Mint chocolate chip

Favorite Sport: Baseball

Favorite Sports Team: The Montgomery Biscuits

Favorite Athlete: I have fond memories of Jason Giambi’s 2008 season mustache.

Favorite Book: The Master and Margarita.

Cell Phone or iPod: Blackberry, y’all. ‘Cause I’m a lawyer.

Summer or Winter: Summer, please.

Ice Skating or Gymnastics: Ice-skating. I love how prissy and critical the sideline commentators always are. “Oh, she didn’t quite stick that sextuple axle, did she? That’ll be a deduction.”

LA or New York: New York but I’ve never been to LA. Just sayin.’

Skiing or Snowboarding: Drinking hot chocolate in the chalet, please.

Chocolate or Flowers: Chlowers?

Dogs or Cats: Kitty!

One Comment
  1. April 16, 2011 \am\30 8:24 am 8:24 am

    Yay Maureen!

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