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Getting to know: Rusty Barnes.

June 17, 2011 \am\30 10:10 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

This shelf is like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Full Name: Rusty Barnes

Age: 41

Height: Six feet three and rising

Currently Live: Revere, MA

Hometown: Mosherville, PA

Instruments: guitar, harmonica

Car: Gullywhumper, anything else that gets me where I want to go

Secret Talent: throwing sharp objects at willing targets

 What is the best thing about your job? Ha! I don’t have one. One that pays, anyway.

What was your most embarrassing audition moment? I don’t audition much, but knocking over the Christmas tree in first second and third grade xmas plays consecutively did give me a bit of a reputation.

If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? Any that provided sufficient interest and penicillin.

Who is your role model and why? Richard Buckner, the way he makes truly brilliant albums, promotes them reluctantly with tours in which he’s half or fully drunken all the time yet can make you cry with every third song; when his voice dips and cracks you feel as if he’s giving you the truth by which you can live the rest of your life in comparative emotional ease.

What do you do for fun? Jew’s harp, reading histories of the Knights Templar, books about revolution, playing guitar and video games, both badly.

Do you have a good luck charm? My three children are the best luck imaginable

Wackiest fan encounter: None.

Before I die, I want to: Publish a book in every genre known; so far I have a poetry chap, a flash fiction collection, a full-length story collection, with a novel awaiting someone to publish it, and a mystery novel begun.

When I fly I have to have: A plug in my asshole.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: French fries and a drink.

My coolest article of clothing: Hank Williams III t-shirt.

My first financial splurge was: The 45 of the Human League‘s “Don’t You Want Me?” and “Cum on Feel the Noize” by Quiet Riot.

When friends come over, we: Drink beer, make fun of the shows on TV but watch them religiously anyway, and talk and talk and talk and hopefully laugh.

Do you like to cook? If so, what? I can almost cook. I can cook anything a bachelor can even though I’ve been married twenty years (thank you).

TV show I never miss: Justified, Game of Thrones, Chopped, Iron Chef, and that show that comes on late at night where all the Japanese people go charging at false walls and jumping over moving barriers and all that. I dig that shit.

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? Paris Hilton. I don’t really think she’s as dumb as portrayed. And I kinda feel bad for her, for some reason. All that dough and no happiness, is what she looks like to me.

Mostly Redneck, Rusty Barnes' new book.

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? Not really.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Tripe.

What are your best and worst subjects in school? English and Math. If there were just a subject in catcalling I’d be like, the best.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be pretty simple and family-oriented: Health, sufficient money, and the realization of every individual’s favorite talent

If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be Ted Nugent; just to see him freak the hell out.

Where on earth are you most dying to go? London, England.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? A Viagra commercial

Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? I’m not normal?

What would people be surprised to know about you? Probably everything. I’m easy-going and friendly to everyone, mostly, unless they’re an internet freak-job or a stalker.

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? Hound Dog Taylor’s version of “It Hurts Me Too.”

Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? I met Norman Mailer at the Borders in downtown Boston, in the history section. He was older then, and needed canes for walking, but when he got to the podium and read, he was magnificent in that great distinctive voice, warning the women in the audience that they might want to leave before he read what turned out to be a fairly innocuous sex scene. I was glad to shake his hand.


Favorite Actor/Actress: Brad Pitt and Patrick Swayze and Asia Argento and Billy Bob Thornton

Favorite Movie: Legends of the Fall, Winter’s Bone, The Painted Veil, Animal House

Favorite Body Part: that muscle that moves from a woman’s ankle into the calf and knee

Favorite Singer: Amanda Palmer

Favorite Song: “Postpone,” by Hezekiah Jones

Favorite Candy: Atomic fireballs have caused four root canals and I think I have finally managed to stop cracking them open. The fireballs, not my teeth.

Favorite Philosopher: Not really a philosopher per se, but Dionysius the Areopagite. Maybe Saint Bruno, Socrates. Hard to say.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Vanilla

Favorite Sport: Tobacco-spitting, tomahawk throwing, basketball, baseball.

Favorite Sports Team: San Antonio Spurs.

Favorite Athlete: Don Mattingly.

Favorite Book: Joe, by Larry Brown.

Cell Phone or iPod: Both,

Summer or Winter: Winter, please.

Ice Skating or Gymnastics: I’m gonna break my fucking leg if I try either.

LA or New York: NY.

Skiing or Snowboarding: Where is the entry for sitting by a fire reading good poetry as it snows outside? Eh? Eh?

Chocolate or Flowers: Neither

Dogs or Cats: Dogs by far, which explains why I have four cats.

  1. June 17, 2011 \am\30 11:32 am 11:32 am

    Most colorful interview I’ve read in a long while. Glad to see that you’re a normal kid, Rusty.

  2. June 17, 2011 \am\30 11:47 am 11:47 am

    awesome. made me laugh.

  3. Kim permalink
    June 17, 2011 \am\30 11:50 am 11:50 am

    :) love you Rusty

  4. June 17, 2011 \pm\30 2:18 pm 2:18 pm

    Thought I was looking at a picture of me, fifteen years ago. :)

  5. June 17, 2011 \pm\30 7:19 pm 7:19 pm

    I know Richard Buckner, I used to work with him in Bellingham Washington and then I hung out with him once here in Tucson years ago. I agree, his music is great. Funny interview. If you don’t eat tripe then you don’t eat menudo soup, and that is a shame. Menudo soup is delicious.

  6. June 21, 2011 \pm\30 2:00 pm 2:00 pm

    Thanks everybody, for reading this. It was fun doing something that wasn’t so goddamned serious.

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