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We who are about to tweet: @seanhdoyle.

June 27, 2011 \am\30 9:00 am

[In which we find out the Twitter philosophies of my most beloved follows.]

Twitter name: @seanhdoyle
Real name: Sean H. Doyle
Recent memorable tweet: “Every now and again I get a little shudder through my body when I remember there are bird-eating spiders in the world.”

How often do you tweet? Do you limit yourself to a number of tweets per day, or to a certain time of day, or other OCD-like tendencies?

I try really hard to just let things fly. Some people “blog,” I use Twitter. I don’t “blog,” man. I have moments throughout my day where I freak out and think “GODDAMN YOU NEED TO TWEET SOMETHING OR PEOPLE WILL FORGET YOU ARE ALIVE,” and other moments where I freak out because I know I am about to uncoil some weird story in 140 character increments.

What is your ‘follow’ philosophy? Do you follow everyone who follows you? Do you follow celebrities, lit mags, ex-boyfriends?

I follow lots of people from all different areas of my life. I follow lots of guys who write about basketball, because I love basketball. I follow writers who will never know my name unless I am outed as some sort of serial killer [kidding!], because I love writing. I do not follow everyone who follows me. If a “stranger” follows me, I will pay attention to their feed for a couple of days to see what they are all about — but that still isn’t a sure-fire way of knowing whether or not someone is a good candidate for a follow back situation. I have been tricked in the past. I don’t use Twitter to stalk people — that is what Facebook is for. I stalk Daniel Nester there all the time. Sometimes I like to send awkward messages to people I see him talking to, letting them know that I love him more than they do. That’s just how a motherfucker like me rolls, y’all.

What is your @ chatting philosophy? Do you tweet people back, engage in ‘chit chat,’ become annoyed when others do?

I will engage people if they have brought something awesome to the table. I’m not going to reply to people who just chime in with some silly stuff I would just glare at them for in the flesh. I try really hard to not get too annoyed when people go back and forth in my feed, but there are times when I want to just jump in and be all like “WILL YOU TWO GO GET A ROOM, ALREADY? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP OVER HERE!”

One thing that *does* make me fucking bonkers? Seeing people tweeting at “celebrities” nonstop. The fuck is that all about? “You use the internet. I use the internet. You’re someone. I’m no one. LET’S ROCK!” Please. Just stop it, okay? NO.

What is your #hashtag philosophy?

Hashtags can be good — I have made some awesome friends just through searching hashtags [whaddup, Lexicon Devil?!?!?]. I do use them, but mostly as some sort of FINAL WORD ON THE SUBJECT type of marker. I am quite fond of #foh. I use it often. I have also in the past tried to use hashtags to let people know that I am doing a recurring “bit” [whaddup, Julius?!?!?] — but I don’t think the medium is the right one for that kind of nuance.

Do you obsess about number of: followers / retweets / favorites / unfollows / other?

Yes. I am human, so when I see people dropping off I get a little bit upset. I know it isn’t like getting a bad book review or anything, but it still stings. I always wonder, “What did I say this time?” and then remember that people are fucking fickle as all get-out. When I RT things, I try to RT things that reflect my awful sense of humor. I can’t play the echo game and just RT every link to every story some pal of mine got published in some journal. That grates a bit, to be honest. One linky is enough. I support people through direct action — like an email or a motherfucking hug. A RT isn’t raising anyone up. A RT isn’t a gold record. Also — nothing comes across as more self-absorbed than the people who will RT every last mention of their fucking name. People who RT Follow Friday shit with their handle in it? C’MON, SON?!?!

How do you think you come across to your followers? How would you like to come across?

The people that have stuck around? Those people are made of gold. I love them. How do I come across to them? I haven’t a clue. Probably a little manic at times. To folks who really don’t know me or my sense of humor I might come off as a little angry, or even like an asshole. Maybe a dick? Maybe even a little full of myself. I would like to come across as a human being sharing his awkward human experiences.

What do you want people to remember about your Twitter account?

I stuck to my motherfucking guns and my aesthetic.

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