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We who are about to tweet: @djberndt.

July 12, 2011 \pm\31 5:30 pm

[In which we find out the Twitter philosophies of my most beloved follows.]

Twitter username: @djberndt
Real name: DJ Berndt
Recent memorable tweet: “was just an REB watching ‘midnight in paris’. sat next to two cute little old ladies who giggled every time they saw the eiffel tower.” [That’s Romantic Eligible Bachelor.–Ed.]

How often do you tweet? Do you limit yourself to a number of tweets per day, or to a certain time of day? Any other OCD-like tweeting tendencies?

I just tweet whenever I feel like it, I think. I probably woudn’t tweet if I felt I had tweeted too much today. My OCD-like tweeting tendency is that I am always completely naked every single time I tweet (ladies).

What is your ‘follow’ philosophy? Do you follow everyone who follows you? Do you follow celebrities, lit mags, ex-boyfriends?

I have a strange “follow” philosophy, I think, because I always have made it a point to read every single tweet by every account that I follow. I’m not sure how many other people do that. So basically I only follow Twitter accounts that I can read every day. There have been a few times where I have had to “unfollow” someone because his or her Twitter-style doesn’t lend itself to reading every day, and I have felt badly about it. I don’t follow everyone who follows me, but I do give everyone a chance. I used to follow a few celebrities, but I have found that mostly celebrities are not worth following. I follow some litmags. I follow all 16,000 of my ex-boyfriends. I love my ex-boyfriends and we live in sandcastles together.

What is your @ philosophy? Do you tweet people back, engage in ‘chit chat,’ become annoyed when others do?

I engage in chit chat on Twitter sometimes, but I always am aware that it is “public” chit chat. If I have something to say to someone that isn’t the least bit funny or entertaining to others, then it can be gchatted or emailed. I suppose my general rule would be like, “no more than two @s in a row, because then it is a conversation that isn’t interesting or entertaining to others”. I wish mermaids had Twitter.

What is your #hashtag philosophy?

I’m relatively new to the Twitter culture, but I think hashtags are supposed to be used so others can chime in about the subject you are hashtagging. I don’t use them very often, but I just realized that “hashtagging” is a cool word, so at least we can tell our grandchildren about that.

Do you obsess about number of: followers / retweets / favorites / unfollows / other?

I don’t put that much thought into it. I follow people that I am interested in and that have a Twitter-style that I like and can read every day. I retweet and favorite things on a whim. I am always scared when I unfollow someone. Does that person get a notification that I unfollowed him or her? Shit, I’m afraid now. Shit.

How do you think you come across to your followers? How would you like to come across?

I hope I come across as a Twitterer who doesn’t tweet too much and does link to interesting things. I’m fearful about tweeting because sometimes I tweet uninteresting things, and then I take a break from tweeting until the negative feelings subside. I would like to come across as an intelligent, charming, good-looking dude that hot girls want to date, but that isn’t going to happen, so I guess I’ll just read a book instead because all this thinking about Twitter is making me scared. Wait, girls like me, right?

What do you want people to remember about your Twitter account?

I want people to look at my Twitter account and find links to good poems and stories. And then the people will read the poems and stories. And then the minds will be expanded and we’ll all die knowing we made a difference. haha just kidding no one matters and our brains aren’t worthwhile.

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2 Comments
  1. Trey permalink
    July 13, 2011 \am\31 2:52 am 2:52 am

    I just noticed that the header image has been vandalized. has this been forever?

    also hi DJ, liked your answers. didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.

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