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Getting to know: David Hernandez.

August 19, 2011 \am\31 10:30 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: David A. Hernandez

Age: 40

Height: 6’1”

Currently Live: Long Beach, CA

Hometown: Cerritos, CA

Instruments: Air drum, air guitar, air triangle

Car: 2010 VW Jetta

Secret Talent: Catching baby possums.  Actually, I’ve only done this once, but put me up to the challenge and I’ll do it again.

What is the best thing about your job?  There are days I enjoy teaching so much that it doesn’t feel like a job.

If you could live in any past era which would it be and why?  It would have to be the Renaissance.  So I could wear fluffy cloud shirts and be a Michelangelo groupie.

Who is your role model and why?  My parents.  Because they’re awesome.

What do you do for fun?  Mess around with Photoshop.  For example:

Do you have a good luck charm?  No, but I used to carry around this green rabbit’s foot when I was a kid until I realized how creepy it was.

Before I die, I want to:  Run into Cormac McCarthy.  Literally.  I’m coming around one corner, he’s coming around the opposite way on the same corner, and boom, we collide—I drop my hoagie and he drops his new manuscript, which is fortunately bound with a thick rubber band so the pages don’t scatter across the sidewalk.  I pick up his manuscript and look at the title page, but I can’t see the title because the rubber band is covering it.  I reach for it, I’m about to pull the elastic down, when Cormac says, “Don’t do that, Friend-o.”

David's book, Hoodwinked, comes out August 15. That's next Monday.

When I fly I have to have: A sober, restful pilot.

My coolest article of clothing: A royal blue Silver Jews T-shirt.

When friends come over, we: Eat, drink, talk, laugh, and play duck duck goose.  I’m kidding.  We don’t laugh.

Do you like to cook? If so, what?  I love to grill.  Steaks, chicken, fish, shrimp, onions, zucchini, artichokes, you name it.

TV show I never miss: Breaking Bad

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why?  Jesse Eisenberg.  Because I’d want to show him this clip and ask him, “Really?  That’s acting?  Do you see how you’re not really doing anything besides your body’s natural instinct to flinch?  I mean, you’re portraying a character who is supposedly shooting someone—erasing a human life—but here it looks like you’re  having a staring contest with a lampshade.”  I would follow this up by showing him this clip (beginning at 5:05) and say, “You see what Aaron Paul is doing with his face?  That’s acting.”  I would then apologize and remind Jesse that he’s rich and famous and I’m just some guy who writes poems.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Steamrolled sushi.

What are your best and worst subjects in school? Art was my best and math my worst.  Not surprisingly, my paintings of geometric shapes are so-so.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be…

1. Run into Cormac McCarthy (see above)
2. A new Pixies album
3. I keep going back and forth between world peace or a pet marmoset.  Can I get back to you on this one?

What’s the last thing that made you cry? The film Beginners.  But not full blown boo-hooing like I did when I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

What would people be surprised to know about you? That I’m actually quite shy.

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be?  “Left of the Dial” by the Replacements. 

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