[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Stacey Levine

Currently Live: Seattle

Car: Sold it 5 yrs ago

Secret Talent: None

What is the best thing about your job? Students who, without any prompting, tell me about extremely personal problems

Who is your role model and why? Isn’t this a little simplistic? Oh, right, that’s the point.

What do you do for fun? Go to a park

Do you have a good luck charm? No—that would be a false plastic/metal god. Not that there is a clearcut real god.

Wackiest fan encounter: Fan lurking on the porch.

Before I die, I want to: Take a tour of the FBI HQ at Quantico.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: I won’t give them my$.  They don’t deserve it. WeSeattlepeople are crunchy, elitist, and grumpy in this way.

My coolest article of clothing: Dayglo ponytail holder.

When friends come over, I don’t let them in. I put on a jacket and come out on the porch with them and say, “Let’s go out.” We Seattlep eople are uptight in this way.

Do you like to cook? If so, what? Sauteed mushrooms.

TV show I never miss: Professor Fred’s Movie Marvels (Schlock Cinema 101).

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? Sufjan Stevens—to ask him why he compared himself in his lyrics to John Wayne Gacy and to tell him that he is actually not at all like JWG, and neither are most people .

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? Yes! That one feeling.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Fermented eggs.

What are your best and worst subjects in school? English and Political Science.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be…I remember this question from teen magazines! Unbearable.

If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be…How is that different at all, in interpersonal terms, from straight-marrying someone?

Where on earth are you most dying to go? Australia.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? A little girl I’m related to.

What would people be surprised to know about you? Absolutely no fetishes.

Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with?

1. Ellen DeGeneres at a dance club in NYC

2. The literary equivalent of this: Grace Paley at a lit conference.

FAVORITES

Favorite Actor/Actress: Stockard Channing

Favorite Movie: A Taste of Cherry

Favorite Body Part:  Skin

Favorite Singer:  Stew from L.A.

Favorite Candy:  That powder in a stick

Favorite Philospher:  Wittgenstein

Favorite Book: Candy by Marie Redonnet

LA or New York:  L.A.

Skiing or Snowboarding:  Like I can even walk up a hill

Chocolate or Flowers: Both

Dogs or Cats: Love them