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The facts about tree houses.

September 15, 2011 \pm\30 3:48 pm

FACT: You like trees.

FACT: Houses are glorified apartments.

FACT: Except when they’re in trees.

FACT: Sleeping 10-20 feet above the ground increases IQ scores 10-20%.

FACT: Tree houses were invented in France or Fiji or something.

FACT: Turkey sandwiches taste better in tree houses.

FACT: Burglars hate climbing and will bypass a tree house.

FACT: Few, if any, American laws apply within the confines of tree houses. Especially the ones about drugs.

FACT: Nine out of ten families from Switzerland named Robinson prefer such domiciles.

FACT: We want to build a tree house.

  1. September 15, 2011 \pm\30 4:09 pm 4:09 pm

    Those tree houses are fucking crazy. A tree house when I was a kid was a packing pallet dragged up the tree. We would tie it on with so crappy old string. Nearly died a dozen times falling from oaks.

    Great article.

    • September 15, 2011 \pm\30 4:59 pm 4:59 pm

      I hear you, man. My dad built us a tree house, only to have it collapse after a wind storm. It wasn’t much better than a pallet, apparently.

  2. Robin Elizabeth Sampson permalink
    September 15, 2011 \pm\30 7:52 pm 7:52 pm

    I’m going to build one! Probably more than one.

  3. Kevin Shamel permalink
    September 15, 2011 \pm\30 10:59 pm 10:59 pm

    Even turkey sandwiches taste better?! This is greater and greater with each fact I read!

    • September 16, 2011 \am\30 7:30 am 7:30 am

      It’s true. I get all my information from the National Tree Domicile Builders of America website. They’re thorough.

  4. September 16, 2011 \pm\30 12:21 pm 12:21 pm

    you missed one:

    ok ok it doesn’t really go with the post, awesome post p.s.

    we had a treehouse when i was a kid too. we lived next to a golfcourse so the golfcourse was our backyard and in the middle of the golfcourse at different ends were two things: a tree so big and spread out it made its own ‘house’ at its center and was good for weedsmoking and hiding from stepfathers, and a canal we used to swingdive into from a branch between our thighs, tied to a rope tied to another tree that hung spread wide over the canal like breezy tentacles. bonus golfcourse story: once we commandeered a security guard’s golfcart and made him run after us in circles for five-ten minutes before giving it back

    do your kids a favor, live next to a golfcourse

    [you bring back memories all the time]

    • September 16, 2011 \pm\30 12:34 pm 12:34 pm

      What? That house looks like something out of Predator.

      Golf course livin’ sounds all right. I’ll have to talk to Daniel, see if I can’t get a WWAATD raise. And make that happen!

      • September 16, 2011 \pm\30 3:48 pm 3:48 pm

        feel overwhelming need to explain we lived in a rental shack at the back of the golfcourse where golfballs went to die

  5. September 16, 2011 \pm\30 4:13 pm 4:13 pm

    It’s still a mansion in my imagination, Ani.

    • September 16, 2011 \pm\30 4:23 pm 4:23 pm

      ok for having imagination i shall put in a good word re: your promotion

      (wait ’til seth abramson hears about this)

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