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Getting to know: Elizabeth J. Colen.

September 30, 2011 \am\30 11:00 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Elizabeth J. Colen

Age: 35. When I was a child my mother always said to people that I was “born 35” (I was a serious child). So I can now consider myself either an infant, or in my 35th year of 35. Theoretically, this should be my year?

Height: 1.676m

Currently Live: Bellingham, WA

Hometown: Lots of places. East coast.

Instruments: drums, wooden flute (arcade won)

Car: Ancient Honda Civic, but mostly I walk.

Secret Talent: Neutralizing crazy; juggling; collage.

What is the best thing about your job? No small talk (I work from home).

What was your most embarrassing audition moment? Here I will take “audition” to mean “first date” – in which case: vomiting.

If you could live in any past era which would it be and why? This one. I mean, getting past the atmospheric safe upper limit for carbon dioxide? The tea party? Collapse of our Roman holiday? The end of the Mayan calendar? Come on! Although I would like to live a little longer, so let’s hope everybody’s math is a little off.

Who is your role model and why? My BFF Sheri. Because she is the smartest person I know.

What do you do for fun? Read. Research conspiracy theories. Pitch fallen apples at the fire hydrant across the street.

Do you have a good luck charm? My grandmother’s Saint Christopher.

Wackiest fan encounter: The guy in the burrito shop offering to tie my shoe.

Before I die, I want to: Read everything; take notes.

When I fly I have to have: Drugs and drink (lots), and People and US magazine.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: Seven Grape Apes at Voodoo Doughnuts, no five Grape Apes, one Captain My Captain, and one Marshall Matters.

My coolest article of clothing: Pox Busters t-shirt.

My first financial splurge was: 1983 Dodge 400 ($600 in 1993).

When friends come over, we: Listen to my dog bark.

Do you like to cook? If so, what? I make a mean quiche. Also, toast.

TV show I never miss: NOVA

If you could interview any celeb whom would it be and why? John Waters. Because secretly I’m convinced he defiled himself with my mother to make me.

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? No. Bigger arm muscles, maybe.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: Potatoes.

If you could be granted 3 wishes, they’d be… World peace, bigger arms, more time.

If I could gay-marry anyone in the world, he/she would be… Tim Jones-Yelvington.

Where on earth are you most dying to go? The Monterey Bay Aquarium.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? Videos of puffins at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

What would people be surprised to know about you? That I’ve had plastic surgery, that I have a brother who disappeared ten years ago, that I was raised by wolves, that I am quite regularly mistaken for other people both male and female. None of it’s surprising anymore, I’m sure.

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be? Cher’s “Take Me Home.”

Have you had a starstruck Hollywood experience? Who was it with? Going out of my way to walk past Janeane Garofalo’s apartment building in New York at 3am. Unbelievably just as I was passing by she was coming out to walk her dogs. Did I say anything? No. Did I make eye contact? No. I may have drunkenly gawked, but I’d like to think I showed nothing as I passed her. Did I turn around and watch her walk away? Oh, yes. Did I follow her for three or four blocks? Maybe. I actually can’t think of any other “Hollywood” type that would even make me look twice, though I did spill my coffee on myself when I saw Carl Phillips at AWP.

FAVORITES

Favorite Movie: Valley of the Dolls

Favorite Body Part: Mine or hers?

Favorite Singer: David Bowie

Favorite Song: “Against the Wind” by Bob Seger

Favorite Candy: M&Ms, melty in popcorn.

Favorite Philosopher: My grandpa, Corky McNairy

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip

Favorite Book: novel – Days with Diam by Sven Age Madsen; poetry – Crush by Richard Siken

Cell Phone or iPod: Book.

Summer or Winter: Here? Summer, for sure.

LA or New York: LA, but only because one of my favorite people lives there. I actually hate the city, but I would be there way more if I could.

Skiing or Snowboarding: Snowboarding.

Dogs or Cats: I hate cats. I have three. But I hate them. So, dogs.

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