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Sasha Fletcher & Daniel Bailey on Sasha Fletcher & Daniel Bailey.

October 13, 2011 \pm\31 2:00 pm

A review of gchat about Sasha Fletcher & Daniel Bailey’s Pangur Ban Party e-Book: I’m Finna Start All Conversations Like This From Now Until Forever
by Sasha Fletcher & Daniel Bailey

dan: this is our last opportunity
sasha: in
dan: otherwise i am going to write a bad review of our ebook
sasha: totally in
OH NO
dan: i am going to compare it to crappy art made by retarded children
not really but maybe in a good way
sasha: well let’s be fair, it is
dan: exactly
sasha: retarded children wrote this
in a chat room
high on vengeance
and misplaced love
dan: retarded children filled with sugar
sasha: well, the chatroom was filled with sugar
dan: yeah
i’m drinking a super big gulp right now
which is nothing new
sasha: i really wish i had a super big gulp right now
or a job
or both
man if i had both
i’d be finna turn into a boner
and just walk around like that
dan: your job could be to drink a super big gulp
sasha: i could perform that job adequately
dan: im finna give you that job and just mail you a paycheck that is just a bunch of coupons for free super big gulps
sasha: i’m finna accept that job
dan: that might not solve your problems
sasha: when skyler comes home i am going to say to her darling i got a job
dan baiely is finna mail me some super gulp coupons
and i am finna use them to get super gulps
and the drink them up
BAM
job
and she will cry with joy
dan: she will cry so many tears that they will fill a super big gulp
i hope the sugar rots the glue off my teeth
sasha: and then i will drink it
and the glue from yr teeth
the rotten glue
dan: i used to have a retainer glued to the back of my bottom front teeth
last night the glue on one side broke
so i ripped the retainer off of my other tooth
my mouth feels awesome now
except there’s still a big chunk of glue on one side
but damn let’s talk about that ebook
sasha: i thought we were
dan: maybe
did we write an ebook?
sasha: i thought this was all part of everything
all the time
we did
dan: fuck
sasha: two years ago we wrote an ebook
in gchat
dan: oh right
sasha: it took one hour
mostly it was about the ways we would love each other
dan: i was sitting in the basement on one of the computers of the educational resources section of the ball state library
it was
all of those ways have actually occurred in real life since then
those ways of loving
sasha: they have
we have exemplified them
dan: we have shunned the ways of not loving one another
when we wrote that ebook it was all fictional
but through our actions we have made it into a work of nonfiction
sasha: but now it’s factual
we have
dan: cnf
sasha: we have made it into science fact
using our hearts
and mings
minds
dan: there is a class about it at mit
sasha: and typing mistakes
it’s true
dan: because it is science
sasha: it’s not yet for credit
it’s an uncredited master class
but still
next year it’ll be a major
dan: i wonder if they will let us guest lecture
sasha: i don’t know they seem to want to really study it
dan: what do you think of the pictures of us that dj used in the ebook?
sasha: i heard they think we’d just ruin it
i thought they were us dressed up as commander riker from star trek
and his transporter twin thomas riker
that is what i thought
dan: yeah they were like “those dubes would just dube it up”
so you’re bearded riker from season 2 onward
and i’m beardless season 1 riker
sasha: exactly
dan: that makes sense
good job on that dj
sasha: for real
dan: where were you sitting when you wrote your lines of the ebook
sasha: i wrote the first half at the kitchen table in my parents house
then i wrote the rest of it in my room at my parents house
dan: that’s crazy
3 locations, one ebook
sasha: it’s true
it was expansive
dan: i feel like we should do a reading of the ebook some day
while drinking super big gulp’s
sasha: we should somehow skype it
it record the skype
with each other
and post it on the internet
dan: yeah
sasha: critically speaking, that would be a success
dan: i will make a video with my phone of you skyping some lines
or something
sasha: done
dan: would you say that the ebook is “is maddening, uneven, often bonkers, but it’s also often strangely beautiful.”
sasha: i think i might say that
dan: i wouldn’t
that’s from a review of black swan
sasha: i fail to see the difference
we are two hotties making out
with tons of metaphors
dan: that’s true
sasha: flying around us
so i fail to see the difference
even though i never saw black swan
dan: we had to die of hotty-ness to become the black swan
it wasn’t very good
it was actually pretty dumb
sasha: lame
i liked the wrestler though
dan: me too
sasha: i thought that was pretty good
dan: that’s actually the only aronofsky movie i like
sasha: today is national eat outside day
skyler just told me that
dan: that’s pretty great but it makes me feel like i’ve been lame for eating inside
sasha: for real
i might take the rest of this bowl of mac and cheese outside and eat it in the back yard
dan: i think that would be prudent of you
sasha: i agree
THIS REVIEW IS OVER
I GOT SHIT TO ATTEND TO
dan: i would go outside to eat something but i’m full from lunch
WE DID IT
sasha: mail this in
bam
reviews
dan: i’ll copy/paste this thing and send it to dj while you go eat outside
sasha: cool
dan: in conclusion i give I’M FINNA START ALL CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS FROM NOW UNTIL FOREVER two big thumbs up
sasha: i give it two bowls of mac and cheese eaten outside on a beautiful day
i give it a dog bite to the genitals
dan: i give it a seven blowjobs and a kiss
sasha: and the dog is carrying the opposite of rabies
i would give it a high five begind the parking lot
dan: i give it a thousand used cars to trade in for that one new car that it really wants that has enough room for all the kids
sasha: that’s really nice
that’s a nice thing to do

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