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Getting to know: Karl Parker.

November 4, 2011 \am\30 11:00 am

[In which WWAATD asks vapid questions culled from various teen magazines to non-vapid, non-teenager types.]

Full Name: Karl Ivan Parker

Age: 39

Height: 6’

Currently Live: Geneva, NY

Hometown: Lock Haven, PA

Instruments: Drums

Car: None

Secret Talent: Haruspicy

What is the best thing about your job? Speech & Thought.

What was your most embarrassing audition moment? Not having auditors.

What do you do for fun? Talk.

Do you have a good luck charm? Yes.

Wackiest fan encounter: The wacks themselves–they sort of hurt.

Before I die, I want to: continue to fail to die.

When I fly I have to have: wings.

If I had to spend $10 at my favorite fast food joint, I’d order: curry-fries.

My coolest article of clothing: fedora.

My first financial splurge was: ineffectual.

Anything about yourself you wish you could change? My head.

I’ll eat sushi, but not: human flesh.

Where on earth are you most dying to go? The afterworld.

Do you ever wish you could just be a normal kid? Naturally, & Never.

What would people be surprised to know about you? I attended the first Bush’s inauguration as a junior in high school, and found a small pocketknife under my seat when they had us tour the floor of the House of Representatives. I put it in my shoe and was scared to walk out through the metal detectors, but it had a small blade and was otherwise plastic (red, actually, with a weird pattern on it). That night, wearing my orthodontist’s tuxedo, I attended a “dance” held by Dan and Marilyn Quayle, at which I spoke with Rick(y) Schroeder and Missy Gold, who were a “couple” there. Luckily, though I was underage, the bartender (probably the only black person in the room) gave me a few Screwdrivers.


Favorite Body Part: Tongue. Hands.

Summer or Winter: Summer.

Ice Skating or Gymnastics: Neither.

LA or New York: Oh, New York, beyond doubt.

Skiing or Snowboarding: Neither.

Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers.

Dogs or Cats: CATS.


  1. November 5, 2011 \am\30 6:40 am 6:40 am

    Hi Karl!

  2. November 5, 2011 \am\30 9:49 am 9:49 am

    totally had to look up Haruspicy


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